Professor Fredrick Finklestein stood at the edge of the cliff, clutching his latest invention. “Damn the Airlines,” he screamed, staring across the canyon. “I’ll never have to endure airport security again!” The Professor strapped on his mechanical wings, flapped them a few times, then took the plunge into the abyss. He plummeted halfway down the canyon, when much to the Professor’s surprise, the wings actually worked! “This is incredible!” he screamed. Finklestein put on his oxygen mask as the altitude increased, 5000 feet, 10000 feet, 20000 feet! “Look at me, I’m a bird!” the Professor screamed, only to be splattered by a passing 747.