Much to my consternation, some idiot (me) poured Floor Wax all over the Firewood. I was told it would get the fire to burn hotter. Now, after lighting the fire ablaze, we’re trying to Roast Marshmallows over the toxic flames. All of the toxic fumes from the floor wax are getting into the Marshmallows, giving them a toxic yet very tasty hint of wax in the soft center of the marshmallow. I bite into the gooey center, and much to my consternation, I fall absolutely in love with this pile of toxic gooey goodness. Now my doctor tells me I have cancer.